today..i had realized something...that i wan everything restart over???

why??because this is a must...it should be

this year...i really not happy in this class...it really let me feel strange...not like last

year..we seems like a big family...i love go to school because i got a bunch of frens

that were so close...but this year...everything chg...i dun like go to school anymore

everyday i dun hav fun...is not interesting school life anymore...i hate it so much

by the way..this year really let me headache n full of pressure...but who knows???

i'm really unhappy...cause im going to take Spm in November...

but i have done nothing...even school works..i cnt did best...

i felt like im just a useless person....i wan to score as best as i can

but now i don;t hav any confident about it...i knew i don't hav much time anymore

Study really drives me crazy....haiz...

besides...family problem...i always wan a warm family...but i scared to be home

cause just a minute at home...then will listen the sound that non-stop scold

by mommy...i wish can like others...talk v mom everything..but cnt...

is hard to communicate....we just will argue...so better not...keep in heart

two sis too young..so they wont understand my feelings or what i said

if two sis did wrg or anything...mom wont scold them but me..why>???

because im their older sister...i din did well..so they might be follow my step

what can i do??? i just wan simple warm family...is it so hard???

Frens wont hav much problem for me..but i still cnt easy believe in mny of thems

i really dunno who are real true frens???human are so complicated

so...i just make mny frens...but mny just normal than normal.....

we knew each other..but not well...we cnt talk much ..we just can talk something

but not everything...yap..i do got best frens...but i seldom wan to talk my things v them

cause i think everyone got their own things to mind...so i dun wan to kacau them anymore

but i do really hope can have one true fren...one enough for me

about love...i really cnt take it...i tell myself i have to stop...

cause i cnt understand what is love n i dun wan it too...

if got LOVE...it will really sweet ...but i still din find my right man yet

im really not a good gf..i can admit it...one weeks..i will argue v him lots...

i only will let him feel hurt, mad, behsyok, upset ,unhappy...all negatif ways

i think my personality really got problem...i dunno myself anymore

but i can sure something...i treat him really different...cause i nvr treat a person

like that before....so i better get rid of it...i hope LOVE can get away frm my Life

i knw that suddenly say NO to you....is very hurt

but i dun wan let u hurt more..so i hav to stop all of this...you really are a good bf

i can tell...but im not a good gf...we really not suit...

n my lifestyle cnt suit u too...u don;t need change..u are fine...all is my problem

between us happened too much things..plus my mom not agree us too

so continue oso useless...but i really do hope can be frens v you...

my life too much pressure...why???i just wan to be simple like others

but can find happiness n fun in life...but y i cnt????

Life just like a game...you lose it then u have to restart it...now im going to restart over again...